To celebrate Thanksgiving Puget Sound style, Observe these rules. .
.
Dress Code-Thanksgiving guests should arrive wearing Seattle
tuxes. This means they're expected to wear clean jeans, flannel shirts
or turtlenecks and down vests. Hiking boots are optional.
Pollyana's Principle-Guests will include at least one orphan,
someone from out of town who can't make it home for the holiday. Or if
no orphan is available, one family oddball can substitute.
Elbow's Law-Left handed diners must be seated to the right of
right handed diners, maximizing the chances for spills and thrills.
Conversations Gambit-Topics will include(1)Skiing, (2)Sailing
or Kayaking, (3)Backpacking, or (4)Trips to other locales to ski, sail,
kayak, or backpack.
Christmas Convention-If you're attending a family gathering,
you've been warned: Don't forget to bring your Christmas list Thanksgiving
dinner.
Melmac's Revenge-At least two distinct patterns of dinnerware
must be visible on the table during every course.
Salad's Law-Salads, supplied by Thanksgiving guests, will arrive
with an excess of moisture, the result of exposure to rainfall. If thanksgiving
is merely overcast, the host can add water before serving.
Gravy's Rule-The silver gravy boat will disappear before the
meal. It will show up next summer when you're looking for beach towels.
Cranberry Convention-A cylinder of canned cranberry sauce will
appear. Few will touch it. But forget it and everyone will complain.
Olive's Outlook-If there are children and ripe olives present,
the olives will become impaled on the children's fingers sometime during
the meal.
Pie R Scarfed-Provide two kinds of pie and guests will either
decline or ask for "Just a sliver of both"
Snow's Panic-Should even a trace of snow fall on Thanksgiving
day, half the guests will wax their skis; the other half will leave mid-meal,
suffering acute snow panic.
Written by Jean Godden for the Seattle Times. |
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